BETHESDA (RPT) – A new psychological study has found that the best protection against the risk of becoming infected with COVID19 is psychological denial about the potential risk of becoming infected. “Denial about your own vulnerability to getting infected confers powerful psychological resilience that will protect you from getting sick, even if you are exposed to prolonged, close contact with somebody who has COVID19,” the first author of the study explained “it’s kind of like magic.”
Critics argue that this study is underpowered and doesn’t even meet the most basic standards for scientific research, as it contains only a single participant, who is also the first author of the paper. “I feel invincible,” he told RPT, “and I haven’t gotten sick yet - even though I’m 73 years old and have a severe cardiovascular disease and a history of chronic respiratory problems.” The other authors on the paper are graduate students who do not have sufficient emotional stamina or political capital to tell their advisor to his face what they really think. “He’s insisting that he’s fine,” a graduate student told RPT, “but he’s been hacking like a mo’ fo’ since yesterday.”
A psychological resilience researcher not connected with the study commented, “It’s amazing, the power of our minds to overcome just about any challenge or threat we might encounter. If you approach the COVID19 epidemic with a positive attitude, optimism, and straight-up denial about your own vulnerability, then, By The Power of Grayskull, you just won’t get infected.” She went on to explain, “if you can just come up with a few reasons why you are invincible and why everyone else is over-reacting, then there is no way you’ll get infected by COVID19.”
