COLUMBUS (RPT) – Campuses across the world have closed due to concern about COVID19, forcing professors to work from home and spend time with their families. Many professors are finding that a lot has changed since the last time they were home, some even discovering that their families had either moved away or changed the locks on all of the doors.
“We reported her missing years ago,” one professor’s partner said. “The police concluded that she had either entered some sort of grant-related fugue state or vanished through a portal to hell. We’re just happy she’s back home.” The mother of the previously missing professor told RPT, “I thought I had lost my Jenny. The only silver lining was that my #JusticeForJenny hashtag was trending on Twitter so I got a whole bunch of new followers.”
Some professors, on the other hand, feel like nothing has changed since the last time they were at home. “I’ve actually been able to pick up right where I left off with my family,” one professor explained as he patted an 8-year-old boy’s head. “My little son Timmy here hasn’t aged a day.” His wife replied, “Honey, that’s your grandson.”
